So…. I think I have a disease.  I’ve talked with my mom about this because I’m pretty sure it’s hereditary on her side. I seem to have the “ability” to put my foot in my mouth whenever possible. I butt in where I’m not wanted or needed, I feel the need to fix things when they’re not my business to fix, and I just want everyone to be happy! This combination is not good. Because inevitably (like today), I listen to people and I hear what they have to say and I’m good at making them feel like they can talk to me and I want Desperately to help them with whatever their problem might be. But then there’s always someone else involved who I ALSO end up talking with. And then it becomes a “he said, she said” type of situation. It always starts out with me wanting to make the 1st person understand where the 2nd person is coming from b/c Obviously they are not communicating effectively and this is the source of their problem. Or so I seem to think. So I do a little of  this type of thing where I say “well put yourself in their shoes and try to think about how they might feel if..yada yada”. I infer things and decide that one of the people must’ve meant “this” when they said “that” and then I go and tell person #2 that that’s what I think is going on. But that ALWAYS makes things worse! Because then person #2 goes back to person #1 and says “so this is how you feel, huh?” and it causes an argument of epic proportions, not to mention making me look like an idiot b/c I’m the one who communicated this stuff to the both of them…. and on & on it goes.

The thing here is, I genuinely believe that I’m helping.. or at least it starts out that way. And sometimes, I do help! That’s why I keep doing it because seriously, if it never helped I’d realize that I’m just an idiot and stop trying. But for the most part, people are just hurt that other people are talking about them. Person #1 is just hurt that person #2 told ME something about their relationship. Most of the time I’ve found that I end up being the one who tells people what they don’t want to hear. And sometimes I’m OK with that, but other times it causes so much drama and all of a sudden I’m in the middle of something that isn’t my problem/business, etc. and I’m stressing out about it and simply cannot let go & just let the people work it out themselves! I will keep calling or emailing or whatever until I feel I’ve done all I can to repair the damage.. and usually that makes it even worse.

I’m sure that I’m not the only one with this disease, I just wish there was a pill I could take. The main thing I’ve learned from all this, is that people do not like to hear anything (at ALL) negative about themselves and they sure don’t want to hear it from a 3rd party b/c that means someone they trust is talking about them. And I just want to yell at them sometimes “if you think no one ever talks about you, you’re naive!”, but I don’t. And the thing I really don’t understand is when it’s two really good friends. I’m sorry but why can’t we all be like Oprah & Gayle?? My mom and aunt/cousin & I were talking about this… why are friends so sensitive with each other? They’re your FRIEND! Friends should be able to say to other friends “Yeah, your hair is messed up”, or “You have something in your teeth”, or “you have bad breath”, or “you’re being really clingy with that guy”, or whatever! Sometimes the things we want to tell each other are just too serious I guess. People are stinkin’ sensitive man. It’s ridiculous. I have grown up with my mother and have been pretty desensitized (sp?) and therefore, I say a lot of things that I’m thinking when I Really shouldn’t! Most other people are not nearly as…. let’s see, Blunt, or straightforward, or honest, or well…. Rude as I am. I kinda feel like you can be a little rude to a friend though, and I realize that’s probably just my backward foot in mouth disease talking. I’m very happy to say that I know have surrounded myself with people (a small # of people) that are like me and can take it if I say to them that I’m not a fan of their outfit, or I think they’re kinda off/wrong on this point, etc. etc… and I don’t get upset when they do the same for me. I try to give as many compliments to my friends as I can think of but I do think I could use some improvement in that area in general.. with everyone in my life. Compliments and praise are don’t come out of my mouth as easily as a criticism. I guess I shouldn’t say that b/c I don’t criticize a ton, but I think it! As we all do! And when asked (which is the KEY!), I will give my honest opinion to the best of friends. And I think that’s how it should be! darnit!